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Can I Date During The Divorce?
Can I date during the Divorce? The short answer is yes, you can legally start dating during the divorce. However, just because you can doesn’t mean you should, without first considering the potential implications it might have on your divorce proceedings.
Remember that divorce can be emotional and illogical. What seems right to you, may seem very wrong to your ex.
Legal Considerations About Dating During the Divorce
From a purely legal standpoint, there is nothing that explicitly forbids you from dating someone new while you are in the process of getting divorced. The law recognizes your right to move on and start new relationships. However, how this new relationship is perceived could impact various aspects of the divorce process.
Complications in Settlement
Introducing a new partner into your life before your divorce is finalized can complicate your settlement negotiations. Even if your estranged spouse also wants the divorce, they might react negatively to your new relationship. This can be out of jealousy, hurt, or simply the emotional turmoil of seeing their former partner moving on. Such emotions can lead to them being less cooperative during negotiation talks, potentially dragging the process out longer than necessary.
For example, I had one case, where after successfully arguing a motion I turned to my client expecting praise. Instead, she had dissolved into tears, crying “But, he has a girlfriend.” The motion had nothing to do with a girlfriend, and this comment came completely out of left field. I had to wait over five minutes for her to be calmed down by her boyfriend. Think on that one.
Impact on Child Custody When Dating During the Divorce
Most judges tend to keep a neutral stance regarding your dating life in relation to your divorce proceedings. However, a common restriction imposed by courts involves the presence of a new partner around your children during the divorce. The reason for this is to protect the children’s emotional well-being and to provide a stable environment amidst the significant changes happening in their lives. Therefore, while dating per se isn’t usually a problem, judges may have concerns about introducing your children to new romantic partners during the delicate phase of a divorce.
Additionally, while having a new boyfriend or girlfriend generally isn’t grounds for denying custody, if your new partner has a problematic background (such as being a known drug user, criminal, or registered sex offender), this could adversely affect your child custody rights. The court’s priority is the children’s safety and best interests, and exposing them to potentially harmful individuals will not be viewed favorably.
For a more in depth look at child custody issues, look at this post.
Emotional Considerations
Beyond the legal and logistical implications, it’s important to consider the emotional and psychological impact. Dating during a divorce can create additional emotional stress, not just for you but also for your children and even your new partner. Everyone involved is adjusting to changes, and adding a new relationship into the mix can sometimes complicate those adjustments.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while you are legally free to date during a divorce, it is wise to consider the broader impact it might have on your divorce proceedings and on your family. If you are unsure about the specific implications for your case, it is always best to consult with your lawyer who can provide guidance tailored to your unique situation. Remember, the decisions you make now can affect not just the legal process but also your relationships moving forward.
If you have questions, call Port and Sava for a free 15 Minute Telephone Consultation (516) 352-2999.
