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Harassing Text Messages Are Domestic Violence

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Harassing Text messages are considered domestic violence and can lead to arrest and Family Court orders of protection.

In today’s world, texting has become an indispensable part of how we communicate. It’s quick, convenient, and an almost effortless extension of our thoughts. Whether we’re sharing feelings, making plans, or venting frustrations, texting offers a direct line to those we care about. However, this convenience comes with a major downside: impulsive texting, especially during moments of anger or frustration, can have lasting consequences.

In family law, where emotions often run high, the line between harmless venting and legal repercussions can blur. This is particularly true in cases involving domestic violence or harassment, where text messages can become crucial pieces of evidence. Understanding the legal landscape surrounding digital communication is essential to avoiding potentially life-altering mistakes.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence encompasses a broad range of behaviors used to control or dominate a partner in an intimate relationship. While physical violence may be the most visible form of domestic abuse, emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, and even digital harassment are equally damaging.

In recent years, courts have increasingly recognized that domestic violence is not limited to physical harm. Any behavior—whether verbal, emotional, or digital—that seeks to exert power and control over a partner can be construed as abuse. This recognition means that even something as seemingly innocuous as a text message can be scrutinized by the courts, especially in cases of family law. So, to be clear harassing text messages is domestic violence.

Harassing Text Messages and the NY Penal Laws

Under New York law, harassment can take many forms, including physical contact, threats, and digital communication such as text messages. New York Penal Law § 240.26 defines harassment in the second degree as any act intended to annoy, harass, or alarm another person. This includes threats or repeated communication that has no legitimate purpose.

When it comes to text messages, what you type in the heat of the moment may easily fall under this legal definition of harassment. Even something as seemingly harmless as an impulsive “I hate you” or a more aggressive “I’m going to hurt you” can be seen as a credible threat or attempt to harass.

For instance, New York Penal Law § 240.30 addresses aggravated harassment, making it a crime to send a communication via phone, text, or email with the intent to harass, threaten, or alarm another person. If the content of your text message includes threats of harm, or is sent repeatedly in a manner that causes emotional distress, you could face misdemeanor or even felony charges.

A victim can press charges for harassment over text messages. A person can get arrested for sending a text message. The victim can also go to Family Court and get an order of protection. Or do both. Orders of protection can prevent the harasser from having contact with the victim. Here’s a blog on orders of protection.

Let’s break that down a little. First, what is harassing text messages is both situational and in the eye of the beholder. For example, if you text “bitch” that may or may not be harassing depending on the context. But, texting “bitch” a hundred times in a day is harassing.

On the other hand, sending “bitch, I’m gonna blow your brains out” or “die, bitch, die” are harassing text messages by anyone’s standards.

The law is clear: texting in anger can have serious legal consequences. The moment your words become a written record, they can be used against you in court, and this is especially true in the realm of family law.

Harassing Text Messages as Permanent Evidence

One critical aspect that many people overlook is the distinction between spoken words and text messages. When you say something in anger, it may be forgotten or dismissed as an emotional outburst. But when you commit those same words to text, they become a permanent record.

In family law disputes, especially in cases involving domestic violence or child custody, text messages are often presented as evidence to support claims of harassment, threats, or abuse. Family courts frequently rely on this type of digital communication to assess the dynamics of a relationship and the character of the individuals involved.

As a family court lawyer, I’ve seen countless cases where text messages played a pivotal role in the outcome of a case. Once a message is sent, it can be saved, screenshotted, and presented as evidence to a judge. That impulsive text you sent in a moment of frustration may be read aloud in court, and once it’s in the hands of the legal system, the context in which it was sent might not matter as much as you think.

I know some bright character is going think “I’ll just delete those harassing text messages.” You might be able to delete them from your phone but not from your ex’s. Also, there are ways to restore the messages and while the phone company doesn’t keep track of the actual message, they do record that a message was sent and it’s length.

Real-World Consequences

Let’s consider a real-life scenario. In a case I recently handled, a husband and wife were going through a contentious divorce. One night, after an argument, the husband sent a text message admitting that he had physically assaulted his wife, along with a hasty apology. This text message became a key piece of evidence in court and made it nearly impossible for the husband to deny his actions. His admission, captured in writing, solidified the case against him and had lasting ramifications in both criminal court and family court. While he deleted it from his phone, it was still on hers.

This example illustrates a crucial point: even if you regret what you’ve done or said, a text message that admits wrongdoing is a form of written evidence that can drastically alter the course of legal proceedings. When your text messages are reviewed in the context of a family law dispute, the stakes can be incredibly high, and your words can carry consequences you never anticipated.

Protect Yourself: Think Before You Text

The legal repercussions of impulsive texting are clear: what you say in a text can and will be used against you in a court of law. This is especially true in cases involving domestic violence, harassment, or custody disputes. As tempting as it may be to fire off a message in the heat of the moment, it’s essential to pause and consider the potential consequences.

Before you hit send, ask yourself: “Would I be okay with this message being read in a courtroom?” If the answer is no, don’t send it. The best way to avoid incriminating yourself or escalating a family law dispute is to refrain from sending any message that could be construed as a threat, admission of guilt, or harassment.

If you find yourself facing legal trouble because of a text message or any other form of digital communication, it’s crucial to seek legal guidance immediately. At Port and Sava, we specialize in family law and can help you navigate the complex legal system. Whether you need assistance in defending against harassment claims or are concerned about how your digital communications may impact your case, we are here to offer support and legal advice.

Conclusion: Be Thoughtful in Your Digital Communications

Texting may be a quick and easy way to communicate, but it’s important to remember that every message you send can have far-reaching legal implications. In the context of family law and domestic violence, digital communication is often scrutinized as evidence of abuse, harassment, or threats.

To protect yourself, always think before you text. Avoid sending messages in anger or frustration, and remember that anything you say in writing can come back to haunt you in court. If you need legal advice or assistance, contact Port and Sava—we’re here to help you make informed decisions about your digital communications and safeguard your legal rights. We offer a free 15 minute telephone consultation (516) 352-2999.

Thoughtful communication can save you from a world of legal trouble. So, take a breath, think twice, and protect yourself from unnecessary complications by choosing your words carefully.

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