Table of Contents
DON’T PANIC
You’ve been served with divorce papers. Take a breath and don’t panic. Being served with divorce papers can be very emotional. The papers say that you have 20 days to respond, and you don’t even know what that means. All you know is that your life has been upended and you don’t know what your future will be. Or if you even have a future.
As a divorce lawyer in New York, I have worked with numerous clients who have been served with divorce papers. It can be a daunting experience, especially if you are not familiar with the divorce process in New York. In this blog post, I will explain what divorce papers are, what they mean, and what you should do next. I will also discuss both uncontested divorce and contested divorce, as well as the basic steps involved in the process.
If I am Served Divorce Papers do I Have to Sign Them?
When being served with Divorce Papers, you don’t have to sign anything. Service is completed when the process server hands you the papers or even drops them at your feet. Don’t sign anything without first talking to a lawyer.
Introduction to Divorce in NY
Before we dive into the specifics of service of divorce papers and uncontested divorces and contested divorces, let’s take a brief look at the divorce process in NY. In New York, there are two types of divorce: fault-based and no-fault.
Fault-based divorce requires one party to prove that the other party was at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. No-fault divorce, on the other hand, does not require any fault to be proven. Instead, it only requires that the marriage has broken down irretrievably for at least six months.
Since New York adopted No-Fault Divorce, we don’t use Fault anymore. I get a number of clients who are upset about this. They want to prove that their spouse cheated on them or that their spouses were mean and miserable human beings. The problem with alleging fault is that you now have to spend time and, yes, money, trying to prove that. And, and this is really important, adultery will not affect child custody, child support, post-divorce spousal support, or property distribution. So, no, if your spouse is cheating on you, you do not get the house. There are special rules regarding domestic violence. I’ve posted an article here on that.
What Does Being Served with Divorce Papers Mean and What Are These Papers?
The whole process starts when you are served with divorce papers. To be served means that a third party, not your spouse, handed you the papers. Papers received in the mail is not service of divorce papers. Papers handed to you by your spouse is not service of divorce papers. If you refuse to accept the papers and they are dropped at your feet, you have been served.
Don’t be afraid of being served with divorce papers. Service is inevitable and it starts the process. The sooner the process is started the sooner it can be over and you can get on with the rest of your life.
Divorce papers, also known as a Summons and Complaint, are legal documents that initiate a divorce case. The papers are usually served by a process server. Once you are served with divorce papers, you become a defendant in the divorce case. The papers will state the grounds for the divorce, the relief sought by the plaintiff, and the deadline for responding.
When you are first served with the divorce papers and read the complaint you will no doubt be very angry with all the laundry list of things your spouse is demanding. The complaint is literally a fill-in-the-blanks form. Your spouse’s lawyer filled in the blanks and then had a process server serve you with these divorce papers.
When you get served with divorce papers the immediate reaction is anger or fear at being named “the defendant.” Don’t worry about it. It literally means nothing in divorce. All it means is that your spouse paid $210 to start the action and hire a process server for about $75. In other words, being the defendant means you saved $285.
It is important to note that being served with divorce papers does not mean that the divorce is final. It simply means that the divorce process has begun, and you need to respond to the papers within the deadline set by the court.
How Do You Respond to Being Served Divorce Papers?
When you are served with divorce papers, you will see in bold type the scary words that you have “TWENTY DAYS TO RESPOND.” I’ve spoken to a number of people who anxiously believe that they must race to the court on the twentieth day and defend themself. Nope. Not at all.
In New York State, you have 20 days to respond after being served with divorce papers. If you fail to respond, your spouse can obtain a default judgment against you, which means that the court may grant the divorce on the terms that your spouse has requested.
Responding means filing a written answer and counterclaim.
Your response to the divorce papers should address all of the issues raised in the papers, such as custody of children, child support, spousal support, and division of property. You may also file a counterclaim, which is a claim against your spouse for divorce or other relief.
The answer is a formal document, just like the complaint. In fact, like the complaint, it is also a fill-in-the-blank form. I generally can draft a complaint or answer in under 15 minutes.
Understanding Uncontested Divorces
An uncontested divorce is a type of divorce where both parties agree to the terms of the divorce. This means that there are no disputes over issues such as property division, child custody, and support. An uncontested divorce is usually faster and less expensive than a contested divorce.
It means that you agree with your spouse on everything. It does not mean that you agree with yourself, and your spouse disagrees. I have had a number of cases when people walk in thinking that the case is uncontested but never got the agreement with their spouse.
Remember, just because you think it is reasonable, doesn’t mean that your spouse will agree as well.
Benefits of Uncontested Divorce
There are several benefits to an uncontested divorce. First, it is usually faster than a contested divorce. This is because there are no disputes to be resolved, and both parties agree to the terms of the divorce. Second, it is less expensive than a contested divorce. Since there are no disputes to be resolved, there is no need for lengthy court proceedings. Finally, an uncontested divorce is less stressful than a contested divorce. When both parties agree to the terms of the divorce, there is less animosity and bitterness.
As an example. I recently settled a divorce literally on the first day of trial. It had been 3 years since my client was served with divorce papers. We settled on the conditions which I first proposed, and the wife rejected, three years ago. The only difference was that 3 years had passed, with increased acrimony between the parties, and they each spent over $100,000 on legal fees.
Steps in the Uncontested Divorce Process in NY
The uncontested divorce process in New York involves several steps. The first step is to prepare and sign a separation agreement. This agreement will outline the terms of the divorce, including property division, child custody, and support. Once the agreement is signed, it must be submitted to the court for approval.
This agreement is a very formal document. It is not written on the kitchen table on a scrap of paper. It must contain a number of mandatory clauses, terms, and language. It must be signed with a very special form of a notary. If an important step is missed the court will reject the agreement.
The next step is to file a summons and complaint with the court. This will start the divorce case. Once the papers are filed, the defendant is served with divorce papers. Since this is uncontested and all are in agreement, the attorneys will accept service, and no process server is needed.
The Plaintiff’s attorney prepares the divorce packet and the paperwork is filed with the court. Unfortunately, as of this blog, the courts are still experiencing COVID-related backlogs. It is taking about 8 to 10 months from filing of the papers to receipt of the Judgment of Divorce.
However, once the agreement is signed all the conditions of the deal are in place and enforceable. The only thing you can’t do is get remarried until you get the Judgement of Divorce.
Filing for Divorce in NY: What You Need to Know
To file for divorce in New York, you must meet certain requirements. First, you or your spouse must have lived in NY for at least two years. If you or your spouse have not lived in NY for at least two years, you can still file for divorce if you were married in NY, lived in NY as a married couple, or the grounds for the divorce occurred in NY. That is a one-year requirement.
Filing a divorce cost $210 in filing fees. There is no cost for filing an answer.
You cannot serve the papers by yourself. The law mandates that the papers must be served by a third party.
What Happens After Divorce Papers Are Served in NY?
I’ve addressed the friendly uncontested divorce. However, when service is a surprise and there is no agreement in place, the rules are different. After you have been served with divorce papers in NY, you only have 20 days to respond to the papers. If you fail to respond, the case will proceed as an uncontested divorce but as default. Your spouse may get their wishlist granted.
It is important that after being served with divorce papers to immediately consult with an attorney. Don’t wait until the 19th day.
Working with a Divorce Lawyer in NY
If you are facing divorce in NY, it is important to work with a divorce lawyer. A divorce lawyer can help you understand your rights and options and can guide you through the divorce process. They can also help you negotiate a fair settlement and represent you in court if necessary.
Conclusion and Resources for Divorce in NY
Divorce can be a difficult and emotional process, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are resources available to help you navigate the divorce process in NY. If you are facing divorce, it is important to work with a divorce lawyer who can help you understand your rights and options.
If you need more information on divorce in NY, you can visit the New York State Unified Court System website or contact Port and Sava, (516) 352-2999 for a free telephone consultation. Remember, knowledge is power, and the more you know about the divorce process, the better equipped you will be to make informed decisions.
